I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
