Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
