Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
