How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You were trust falling into bushes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
