I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
