Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
