I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
