my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
