wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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