They should really pass out barf bags in church
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
