Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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