It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
