i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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