I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
