I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
