No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
