NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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