Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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