I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
