You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my shit smells like andre
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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