you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
