dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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