I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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