God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
