Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
