well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How many fucks given?
0.12846
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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