And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
