If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
