she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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