My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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