addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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