But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize