are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
