You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
