You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I could fuck to npr.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
