3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
