i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
