I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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