census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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