we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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