would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
