Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
