i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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