She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
