its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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