My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
