I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
