Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
