The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think a kid would responsible me up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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