I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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