apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize