I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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