I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
