dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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