That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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