dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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